Setting Boundaries with Family: Scripts to Help You Speak Up
Look, setting boundaries with family can feel impossible. Whether it’s a parent who calls too much, a sibling who dumps on you without asking, or unrealistic holiday expectations that leave you burnt out and resentful . . . you’re not alone if you freeze up, give in, or spiral into guilt if you try to say no.
But I want you to try this reframe: boundaries aren't about being mean. They're about being clear. And seriously, clarity is kind. Just think about how frustrating it is when someone else is wishy-washy or obviously not being completely honest with you. Which would you prefer - honesty, or someone beating around the bush while simmering with resentment?
As a therapist in Georgia who supports high-achieving, people-pleasing women, I know how overwhelming it can feel to finally say what you need. So in today’s blog, we’ll go through a few “therapist-approved” boundary scripts you can try when family interactions start to wear you down.
1. When You're Getting Unwanted Advice
Setting boundaries with family advice
Situation: Your mom, aunt, or cousin [insert relation here] offers your opinions you didn’t ask for, whether it’s on your job, your relationship, or your body.
Try saying:
“Thanks for caring about me, but right now, I’m really not looking for advice. I just need someone to listen.”
“I know you mean well, and I’ve got this covered. If I need input, I’ll definitely ask.”
“I hear you, and I really don’t want to discuss that. I’ll be sure to ask you if I need help.”
You can choose the level of directness, or “spiciness,” you want to include here.
Why it works: It acknowledges the intent and sets a clear limit. It lets them know you aren’t interested in their opinion or advice.
2. When a Family Member Crosses a Line Repeatedly
Therapy for family boundaries in Georgia
Situation: You’ve asked them not to bring up current events, your dating life, or something painful… but they keep doing it anyway!
Try saying:
“We’ve talked about this before, and I really need you to respect that this topic is off-limits for me.”
“If this keeps coming up, I may need to take a step back from these conversations for my own well-being.” (or could be needing to step back from the relationship, hanging out less, etc.)
Why it works: It’s firm and direct, and it names a consequence without being punitive. Remember the stated consequence is about protecting you, not punishing anyone else. It isn’t a threat — it’s telling them what to expect and sharing what will happen.
3. When You’re Over-extended and Need to Say No
Situation: You’re asked to plan the next family event or take on emotional labor you just don’t have capacity for.
Try saying:
“I love our family, and I love to help, but realistically I don’t have the bandwidth to organize this one. I trust someone else can take the lead.”
“I’m working really hard on being more honest about my limits. I’m going to say no to this one, but I hope it goes well!”
Why it works: It communicates care while protecting your time and energy. You’re practicing being authentic and honest with your loved ones, and it’s preventing further resentment from forming.
4. When You’re Practicing Healthier Communication
Situation: You want to stop people-pleasing, over-explaining your why, or managing everyone else’s emotions.
Try saying:
“I’m working on showing up more authentically and taking better care of myself. It might feel weird and different, but I really hope it makes our relationship stronger.”
Why it works: It names your growth out loud, which can ease confusion or defensiveness from others. And it reminds you why this work matters.
Boundaries Are a Practice, Not a Personality Shift
You don’t have to be 100% confident or boundary-savvy to begin. Actually, it’s completely normal to feel anxious, guilty, or uncertain. You’re doing something different and going against years of social conditioning. The goal isn’t to be perfect! It’s to give yourself permission to try. To take up space. To honor your needs. To show up in your relationships without abandoning yourself.
If you’re looking for support, therapy can help you explore your patterns, practice new skills, and build the self-trust to hold your boundaries with clarity and care.
Looking for Ongoing Support?
You’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure this all out by yourself. At Rosebud Psychotherapy, I offer:
A Women’s Process Group for deepening connection, self-trust, and boundaries
Individual therapy for anxiety, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and more
And more!