What is a Process Group, and How Could It Help You?
You know that moment when you're with people—friends, coworkers, family—and you suddenly think: "If I said what I'm actually feeling right now, what would they do? Would they even try to understand, or would it get really awkward, really fast?”
So you play it safe, and you don't. You smile, deflect, and ask about them instead.
And later, alone again, you feel that familiar ache of going through life with a wall around you that keeps you separate. You want real connection, but that level of vulnerability just feels impossible.
What if you let someone in, and they're disappointed by what they find? What if you finally say what you're really thinking, and it pushes people away?
Well, dear reader, that's where interpersonal process groups come in.
What Is an Interpersonal Process Group?
An interpersonal process group is a type of therapy where a small group of people (usually 6-8) meet regularly with a trained therapist to work together on their relationships, patterns, and struggles.
But it’s different from other types of groups you may have been in before. Because we're not just talking about your life. We're looking at what's happening right here, right now in the room. That’s right. It all happens in real time.
It's not a class with curriculum or homework. And it’s not a support group where everyone takes turns sharing their week and hedges their responses.
Instead, it's a space where you get to practice being real with other people—and where you finally get to see how you show up in relationships, not just hear about it secondhand. All with a licensed therapist there to guide you.
Think of it as a social laboratory or microcosm. Those patterns that show up in your everyday life? They're going to show up here too. But this time, you'll have support, feedback, and a safe space to try something different.
How Does It Actually Help?
Most of our ongoing struggles aren't happening in isolation. They're happening in relationship.
Maybe you:
Feel like you have to perform or please everyone to be liked
Struggle to speak up or set boundaries
Wonder if people would still care about you if you weren't "useful"
Feel disconnected even when you're with others
Second-guess yourself constantly in social situations
Have a hard time trusting that people actually want you around
These aren't things you can just think your way out of. You need to learn different by doing different. And group offers that type of experience, where you can test out new ways of interacting and get honest feedback. And everyone else there is doing the same thing, so you aren’t alone.
In an interpersonal process group, you'll learn to:
Set healthy, appropriate boundaries – Practice saying no, disagreeing, or asking for what you need in real time
Get better at noticing and naming your emotions – Start sharing aloud what you’re noticing and get help in figuring out what it is, if you feel stuck or unsure
Trust yourself in relationships – Get feedback about how you actually come across (spoiler alert: it's usually not what you think)
Stop performing and start connecting – Let people see the real you and discover they don't run away
Understand your patterns – Notice what you do when you feel anxious, threatened, or vulnerable in relationships
Feel less alone – Realize other people struggle with the same things you do, and they want to work on it with you
Build genuine connections – Experience what it's like to be seen, heard, and valued just as you are
The magic of group therapy is that healing happens in connection. You don't just talk about feeling isolated—you actively practice being less isolated, right there in the room.
What Should I Expect?
The Structure
Groups typically meet weekly for 60-90 minutes. There's no set agenda for each session; it unfolds based on what's happening for members that day and what's happening between members in the room.
I (the therapist) act as a facilitator. My job is to help the group stay safe, notice patterns, and gently guide the process. Sometimes I will help you get unstuck and try something different. But the real work happens between members. Once a group is more cohesive, members start learning how to ask the important questions, give meaningful feedback, and trust in the group process.
What We Actually Do
You might think group therapy is everyone sitting in a circle (or a zoom room) taking turns talking about their problems. And yeah, that definitely happens. But then we go deeper.
We focus on the here-and-now, meaning what's happening in this moment between and within people in the room.
For example:
"I notice I've been quiet today, because I'm afraid what I say won't matter."
"When you said that, I felt defensive. I'm realizing that happens a lot when I feel criticized."
"I really want to connect with you, but I'm scared you'll think I'm too much."
This is where the transformation happens. You're not just talking about your struggles—you're experiencing them and working through them live, with support. That’s called … process!
The Ground Rules
Confidentiality is non-negotiable. What's shared in group stays in group. Period. You can talk about your own experience outside of group, but never about other members' identities or stories.
Honesty over politeness. Group is a place to practice saying the things you usually don't say. You're still expected to be respectful, but you're encouraged to be real, even if it feels uncomfortable.
Commitment matters. I ask members to commit to at least 12 sessions. Why? Because trust takes time. The early sessions might feel awkward or uncomfortable, but that's normal. The breakthroughs happen when you stick with it.
No outside relationships. If members become friends outside of group, it creates secrets and weird “sub-groups.” It tends to hinder the work.
You set the pace. You're never forced to share or pressured to disclose. You have full control over what and when you share. Consent always applies.
Is It Going to Be Uncomfortable?
Honestly? Sometimes, yes.
Growth usually is.
You might feel anxious before your first session. You might feel exposed when you share something vulnerable. You might feel frustrated when someone gives you feedback you didn't want to hear.
But there’s a big difference between uncomfortable and unsafe.
My job is to create a space where discomfort can happen within safety. Where you can take risks, mess up, be honest, and know you won't be abandoned.
And the best part is that the discomfort is really where the healing happens. When you say the scary thing and people don't reject you? When you set a boundary and someone respects it? When you share your fear of being "too much" and someone says, "I don't think you're too much at all"?
That's when things really start to shift. And trust me, it’s exciting.
And for every time it’s uncomfortable, you’ll have plenty more times where it’s warm, silly, fun, moving, etc.
Who Is This For?
Interpersonal process groups are especially helpful if you:
Feel isolated even when you're around people
Struggle with people-pleasing or perfectionism in relationships
Want to understand your relationship patterns better
Have a hard time trusting others or letting people in
Feel anxious in social situations
Want to build more authentic, meaningful connections
Are tired of feeling like you have to perform to be accepted
If you're someone who tends to over-function, overthink, or put everyone else's needs before your own, group therapy can be life-changing. You'll finally have a place where you get to be the focus, and where people actually care about your experience, not just what you can do for them.
Group Therapy Works
I get it. The idea of sharing your struggles with strangers might sound terrifying. Hard enough to share with one therapist, let alone a group of people!
But research consistently shows group therapy is just as effective as individual therapy, and for some issues—especially interpersonal ones—it's even more effective.
Why? Because you can't practice relationships in isolation.
In individual therapy, I can tell you that you're not "too much" or that people do want to hear what you have to say. And that can help to a certain extent. But in group? You get to experience it. You get real-time evidence that contradicts the stories you've been telling yourself.
Ready to Give It a Try?
If you're craving real connection, if you're tired of feeling alone and different in a crowded room, if you want to finally understand why your relationships keep playing out the same way—group therapy might be exactly what you need.
I'm currently enrolling for my Women's Interpersonal Process Group. We meet bi-weekly, and there are a few spots available.
If you’re interested, schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation, and we'll discuss what you're looking for, what to expect, and whether group therapy is a good fit.
Your relationships and your self-image can grow and heal. Somewhere, there's a room full of people waiting to see you and help you, if you let them. And you can help them in return.