Embracing Change
One constant in life is change. Clients usually make a face when I tell them that, and I understand why. Change is uncomfortable and difficult, even when it’s “good.” As human beings, we yearn for stability and certainty. We seek security in a world that is inherently impermanent, which means we are doomed to fail if we resist change. Yet we do resist it, and that resistance can leave us feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and disconnected. So, let’s delve into the practice of embracing impermanence and learning how to ride out the ever-shifting waves in life - maybe even finding some peace in those shifts.
The Illusion of Permanence
Many of us find ourselves caught in the trap of seeking permanence, both internally and externally. We cling to ideas, relationships, and situations, hoping that they will provide a lasting sense of security and happiness. We may use substances to try to make feelings last or to make them end. However, the truth is that everything in life is in a state of constant flux. Change is inevitable, and the more we resist it, the more we suffer. Recognizing and accepting this fundamental truth is the first step toward finding peace.
The DBT Approach
In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a therapeutic approach I often use to help clients struggling with overwhelming emotions, one of the core principles is recognizing the dialectical nature of life. A dialectic is when things that seem in opposition to one another are both true, rather than getting stuck in it only being one way or another. So by shifting to a dialectical mindset, we can acknowledge that we both want to accept the current moment and we want to change it. It encourages us to hold two seemingly opposing truths simultaneously: the acceptance of reality as it is and the desire for change. Not limiting ourself to one truth opens us up and helps us be less mentally and emotionally rigid as we move through live. That increase in flexibility helps us to ride the waves of change, so to speak, with more ease.
The Power of Mindfulness
We also cultivate more flexibility and ease through mindfulness practice. Mindfulness plays a crucial role in embracing change. By cultivating our awareness of the present moment, we develop the ability to observe and accept the unfolding of our experiences without judgment or resistance. Mindfulness helps us anchor ourselves in the here-and-now, acknowledging that each moment is unique and fleeting. Through mindfulness practice, we learn to release our grip on the past and the future, and live more fully in the present moment, no matter what it brings.
Finding Connection in Shared Experiences
When we feel overwhelmed by the constant ebb and flow of life, it can be comforting to remember that we are not alone in our struggles. Everybody else is out here trying to surf these waves, too. Each person, regardless of their appearance and social status, faces their own challenges and uncertainties. The human experience is a shared journey, and acknowledging our common vulnerabilities can help us find solace and support. Remembering that no one has it all together can alleviate the pressure we put on ourselves to achieve an unattainable state of perfection.
Embracing the Shifting Tides of Change
In releasing our attachment to things staying the same, we discover the beauty of impermanence. Just as the seasons change, relationships evolve, and circumstances shift, we too have the capacity to grow and transform. Embracing impermanence does not mean resigning ourselves to a passive existence. Instead, it invites us to actively engage with the present moment, appreciating the fleeting nature of all things and nurturing a sense of gratitude for what is here and now. It also can give us hope in moments that feel impossible because “this too shall pass.”
Remember that change is not your enemy, and even if it feels that way right now… your thoughts and feelings on it may change! Because when it comes to fighting reality and inevitability of change, resistance is truly futile. So learn to ride it out.