Have you ever wondered what’s going on in your body when you feel calm and safe sometimes, but other times you feel scared or stressed? There’s a concept called Polyvagal Theory that helps us understand why we feel the way we do and how we may respond differently to stress. Let’s break it down and look at how it can be important in therapy.

What Is Polyvagal Theory?

Polyvagal Theory comes from Dr. Stephen Porges, a researcher who studies how our bodies and brains work together. The word "polyvagal" comes from two words: "poly," which means many, and "vagal," which refers to the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is like a super important telephone line that connects our brain to our body. It helps us stay calm, feel safe, or get ready to handle danger.

The Three States of Polyvagal Theory

According to Polyvagal Theory, our bodies have three main states that we can be in, kind of like different gears in a car:

1. Safe and Social: Ventral Vagal - This is when we feel calm, happy, and ready to hang out with friends and family. Our heart beats normally, and we feel good. We can be curious, relaxed, and social.

2. Fight or Flight: Sympathetic Activation - This is when we feel stressed or scared. Our body gets ready to either fight back or run away from danger. Our heart beats faster, and we might feel anxious or worried.

3. Shutdown: Dorsal Vagal - This is when we feel super overwhelmed or hopeless. Our body slows down, and we might feel very tired or disconnected from everyone around us or even from ourselves.

Why Does It Matter?

Understanding Polyvagal Theory helps us know why we have different reactions to stressors and how to handle them. Here are some reasons why it’s important:

• Better Self-Awareness: When we know about the three states, we can better recognize how we’re feeling and why. This helps us make intentional choices about to how to care for ourselves. It also helps us communicate with others about what state we are in and what we may need.

• Improved Relationships: Knowing about these states helps us understand how others might be feeling too. We can be more patient and kind to friends and family.

• Stress Management: When we know we’re in the fight or flight state, we can use calming techniques to help us move back to the safe and social state. This might include deep breathing, rocking your body, dancing, talking to a friend, or taking a walk.

How to Stay in the Safe and Social State More Often

• Connect with Others: Spend time with friends and family. Talking, laughing, and having fun together helps us feel safe. We’re social creatures and crave belonging.

• Take Care of Your Body: Exercise, eat healthy food, and get enough sleep. When our body is taken care of, it’s easier to for us to stay calm and be less reactive.

• Practice Mindfulness: Take a few minutes each day to breathe deeply and relax. This helps our brain and body stay connected and calm. It signals safety to the rest of our body.

• Be Kind to Yourself: Remember, it’s okay to feel stressed or overwhelmed sometimes. Be gentle with yourself and practice kind, compassionate talk to yourself when you’re struggling. Even use a warm, soft tone when speaking to yourself to again signal safety.

How Therapists Use Polyvagal Theory in Therapy

Now that we know what Polyvagal Theory is and why it matters, let’s explore how therapists use this idea to help people feel better. Therapists often use something called somatic practices. "Somatic" means related to the body. These practices help clients use their bodies to feel safe and calm. Here’s how it works:

Listening to the Body

Therapists trained in Polyvagal Theory pay close attention to their clients' bodies. They look for signs like how fast their heart is beating, their breathing, and even their facial expressions. These clues tell therapists which state (safe and social, fight or flight, or shutdown) their clients are in. If a client is in fight or flight or shutdown, the therapist can help the client gently tend to their nervous system instead of jumping into talk therapy. Clients won’t get much out of talk therapy unless they are able to be in a (relaxed, engaged) ventral vagal state.

Examples of Somatic Techniques Therapists May Use

1. Deep Breathing: Therapists teach clients how to take slow, deep breaths. This helps calm the nervous system and can move someone from a stressed state to a calmer one.

2. Grounding Exercises: These are activities that help clients feel more connected to their bodies and the present moment. For example, a therapist might ask a client to feel their feet on the ground or hold a comforting object.

3. Movement and Stretching: Gentle movements and stretches can help release tension in the body. This can be as simple as rolling the shoulders or stretching the arms. It can help move or release stored energy in the body.

4. Safe Spaces: Therapists help clients create a mental image of a place where they feel safe and happy. Thinking about this safe space can help clients feel more secure during stressful times.

5. Social Engagement: Sometimes, just talking with the therapist and making eye contact can help clients feel safer. Therapists use their voices and facial expressions to create a comforting environment.

Why These Practices Work

These somatic practices work because they directly affect the vagus nerve and the nervous system. When the body feels safe, the brain gets the message that it’s okay to relax. This helps clients move from a stressed state to a more regulated, grounded one.

Real-Life Example

Imagine a client named Alex who feels very anxious. When Alex goes to therapy, the therapist notices that Alex is breathing quickly and has tense shoulders. The therapist might guide Alex to take deep breaths and do a few gentle stretches. They might also talk about a favorite memory or place where Alex feels safe. Slowly, Alex’s breathing slows down, and the shoulders relax. Alex starts to feel calmer and more in control.

How You Can Use These Ideas

Even if you’re not in therapy, you can use these somatic practices to help yourself feel better:

• Try deep breathing exercises when you feel stressed.

• Use grounding techniques to bring yourself back to the present moment.

• Do some gentle stretches to release tension in your body.

• Think about a safe and happy place when you need comfort.

• Connect with others, like talking to a friend or family member.

Therapists use Polyvagal Theory and somatic practices to help clients feel safe and calm. By understanding and using these techniques, you can also learn to manage your emotions and feel better in your everyday life. Remember, it’s all about listening to your body and giving it what it needs to feel safe and happy.