Hello again, my amazing readers! (I think I must be ready for Bridgerton to return because I have addressed my readers in this blog post and my last…) Anyway! Today, let's chat about something we all need a bit more of in our lives—boundaries. Specifically, those magical lines that help us maintain a healthy work/life balance, steer clear of burnout, and keep our sanity intact. This topic is something I see my clients, friends, and coworkers (okay, and me) really struggle with. Please trust me when I saw that setting boundaries can be a game-changer!

The Balancing Act: Why Work Boundaries Matter

Picture this: You're at your favorite coffee shop, sipping on your go-to brew, and suddenly your phone lights up with a new work email. The temptation to dive into those unread messages is real, right? “I just want to get it done,” you may tell yourself. Or “What if my boss gets mad with me if I don’t answer now?” But here's the thing—finding balance is key to a healthy, happy life. You are not responsible for all the things at work, all the time. You need space for your mind and body to recuperate and separate from work stress. Boundaries are like the superhero capes that shield us from burnout and help us keep the different areas of our lives in check. Boundaries keep the balance.

What is a Boundary?

Before I go further, I should tell you what I mean when I mention boundaries. In the realm of mental health and self-care, boundaries are the guidelines and limitations you set with yourself and others on what is okay and not okay — what sustains you or drains you. Boundaries are about honoring your capacity and your needs, and adhering to your boundaries is a sign of self-respect. They are an invisible line we draw in the sand that say “do not cross.” It’s our job to communicate our individual boundaries to the people in our lives.

So let’s get into some specific tips to set and hold boundaries with work:

1. Establish Your Work Hours (and Stick to Them):

Imagine your work hours as a sacred pact between you and your well-being. Define when your workday starts and when it ends. Stick to it religiously. This not only helps you maintain a routine but also sends a clear signal to your brain that it's time to shift gears. You can turn off your “work mode” and get into your personal life. Try resisting doing any work outside work hours.

2. Learn the Magic Word: “No”:

Not that magic word. “Please” may come in handy when making a request, but this one is about the power of “no.” “No” gets a bad rap, but really it is not a bad word; in fact, it can be a life-saver. Learn to say no when your plate is full. It's about respecting your own limits and preserving your energy for tasks that truly matter. If you can utilize “no,” you can avoid over-committing. Your future, less-stressed self will thank you.

3. Make Room for Breaks (Yes, Really!):

Breaks aren't a luxury; they're a necessity. Step away from your desk, take a breather, or indulge in a quick dance session. Breaks reenergize you, boost creativity, and prevent burnout. And if you have a pretty sedentary job, then I highly recommend getting some kind of movement in during your breaks. During breaks you can get be mindful of the moment (especially if it’s a peaceful or enjoyable one), or just let your mind wander. Pay attention to what feels best for you.

4. Set Clear Expectations Through Communication:

Define when you're available for work-related calls, messages, or emails. And then tell your co-workers. Establishing these expectations helps manage everyone's assumptions and ensures that you're not constantly on call. Communication is critical in setting boundaries. No one can respect your boundaries if they don’t know them!

5. Guard Your Downtime:

Your evenings and weekends are your sacred downtime. Protect them fiercely. Set boundaries about what you will do with that down-time. Whether it's a Netflix marathon, a family dinner, or just some quiet time with a good book, just make sure you carve out space for activities that rejuvenate your spirit. Fill the time that activities that align with your values and really matter. And yes, work can matter, but you need to pay attention to all the other important things outside of work.

6. Delegate Like a Pro:

You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Delegate tasks when possible. It's not a sign of weakness; it's a strategic move to ensure that you can focus on what truly matters to you and what you are best at. Delegating tasks may also give others around you a chance to grow or prove themselves, if you have a tendency to try to do it all. As humans, we evolved to be part of a “tribe” or community, not to go at life solo. We are built to share the load.

7. Communicate with Compassion:

When setting boundaries, delivery is important. Setting boundaries can be especially scary if you aren’t used to sharing your thoughts or needs. Don’t worry — sharing your boundaries needn’t be an aggressive act. Communicate your limits with kindness and empathy. Let your colleagues or superiors know that it's about creating a healthy balance, not about avoiding responsibility. I like to think of sharing our boundaries as a way to show a person we want to stay in relationship with them and we’re offering them the guide for that to be successful. Or in this case, you’re letting your workplace know how to retain an efficient and effective worker. Remember, your co-workers won’t know what you need if you don’t tell them.

Setting boundaries is about respecting and loving yourself. They help you build a life that aligns with your values and nurtures your well-being — my DBT folks will know this as a ‘life worth living.’ So, go ahead, draw those lines, try out some small ‘no’s',and watch how your work/life balance transforms. You can do it, even though it may feel weird at first! I believe in you.

Need help identifying what boundaries you need and how to set them? That happens to be a specialty of mine. Reach out through the contact page, or directly email me at mmalone@rosebudpsychotherapy.com to schedule a session.