The holiday season often brings joy, connection, and celebration (yay!) —but it can also be a major source of stress, especially when it comes to navigating family dynamics. For many of my clients (and friends), this time of year comes with heightened expectations, financial stress, emotional triggers, and an overwhelming sense of obligation + guilt. If you’ve ever found yourself dreading a family gathering or saying "yes" to something you don’t want to do, this blog is for you.

At Rosebud Psychotherapy, I strongly believe in the power of boundaries to protect your mental health and foster healthier relationships. So, here’s how to set—and stick to—boundaries with your family this holiday season.

What Are Boundaries, and Why Do They Matter?

Boundaries are the limits we set to define what is and isn’t acceptable in our relationships. They help us prioritize our emotional well-being and create space for healthy connection. Setting boundaries with family can be challenging, especially during the holidays, but it’s essential to protect your energy and avoid mental health spirals, resentment, and burnout.

Without boundaries, you may:

• Overcommit to events, cooking, spending, or hosting.

• Feel resentful or taken advantage of.

• Experience increased anxiety or stress.

With boundaries, you can:

• Show up for family in a way that feels authentic and sustainable.

• Protect your mental health during a busy, high-pressure season.

• Cultivate deeper, more respectful relationships.

How to Set Boundaries with Family Over the Holidays

1. Get Clear on Your Needs

Before you can set boundaries, you need to understand what you need to feel calm and supported during the holidays. Ask yourself:

• How much time can I realistically spend with family without feeling overwhelmed?

• What activities or traditions bring me joy, and which ones feel like obligations?

• Are there specific topics of conversation (e.g., politics, parenting) I need to avoid?

By reflecting on these questions, you can identify where you need to set limits.

2. Communicate Early and Clearly

Once you’ve identified your boundaries, communicate them to your family before the holidays. For example:

• If you can’t attend every gathering, let them know: "I’d love to join for Christmas Eve, but I’ll need to skip Christmas morning this year to recharge."

• If certain conversations are off-limits, say: "I’d like to avoid discussing politics during dinner. Let’s focus on enjoying being together and celebrating."

Be calm, direct, and kind in your communication. Remember, you’re not asking for permission—you’re sharing what you need to feel at ease.

3. Stick to Your Boundaries

It’s one thing to set boundaries; it’s another to enforce them. One thing I remind my clients of is that just because it feels bad doesn’t mean it is bad - even if it feels uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Growth can be uncomfortable. If a family member tries to push your limits, stay firm. For instance:

• If someone insists you attend an event you’ve declined, repeat: "I won’t be able to make it, but I hope you have a wonderful time."

• If a conversation topic comes up despite your request, calmly redirect: "I’d prefer to focus on something else. How was your recent trip?"

Consistency is key to helping others respect your boundaries over time.

Common Challenges (and How to Navigate Them)

Guilt

Feeling guilty for saying "no" is natural, especially if you’re a people-pleaser. Remind yourself:

• Saying "no" to others is saying "yes" to your sanity.

• You’re not responsible for everyone else’s happiness - or for any of their emotions!

• Guilt can be a way a family maintains unhealthy dynamics.

• You don’t win any points for suffering.

Pushback

Not everyone will understand or accept your boundaries immediately. Stay grounded and avoid engaging in arguments. Use phrases like:

• "I understand this might be disappointing, but this decision is what’s best for me."

• "I hope you can respect my needs, even if we see things differently."

The Benefits of Boundaries During the Holidays

When you set and enforce boundaries, you create space for a holiday season that feels less overwhelming and more meaningful. Instead of feeling drained by endless obligations, you can focus on what truly matters: connection, rest, and joy.

Boundaries also strengthen relationships by fostering mutual respect and understanding. When you prioritize your well-being, you show up as your best self for your loved ones. You’ll notice much less resentment and anger in yourself. And you are showing yourself and everyone else that you matter, too.

Need Support Navigating Family Dynamics?

If setting boundaries feels daunting, you’re not alone. At Rosebud Psychotherapy, I specialize in helping women overcome anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing tendencies. I offer individual therapy and group support to help you develop confidence and tools for healthier relationships.

Ready to reclaim your peace this holiday season? Reach out to schedule an appointment or learn more about the upcoming women’s recovery and DBT skills groups.

Happy, Boundaried Holidays :)
This holiday season, give yourself the gift of boundaries. Protecting your mental health is the most loving thing you can do—for yourself and your family.

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For more tips on mental health and relationships, check out the rest of my blog or follow me on Instagram @rosebud.psych.

Interested in therapy with Maggie? Contact Rosebud Psychotherapy today to get started.